Saturday, August 23, 2008

Mr Flight Attendant

I have a friend who writes letters to people she doesn't know but has a beef with them. So here is my take on it.
A little background...I had a dream about this a couple days ago, that's why it's resurfaced.

Dear Mr. Flight Attendant,
It was Dec 26, 2006. I was flying on your plane that morning. What you didn't know was I was four months pregnant. I had lost 35 lbs from puking all the time. I wasn't suppose to fly. But my mom needed me after just moving out of her house and starting the divorce paperwork, the week before. She needed her daughter to bring some Christmas love with her.
Now as you very well know, Mr. FA, there are barf bags in the back of every seat. I, not feeling good as it was, didn't take to well to the turbulence that was there on our flight. I got heated and needed to lay down. That didn't help so up came my well planned, non-puking breakfast, into one of the bags.
Being embarrassed as I was, I hid the bag from other's sight. I tried to not have the smell effect anyone else by putting on the ground. I didn't want anyone's help or stories of how bad their morning sickness was. I just wanted to be in my own world, with my mom curled in her bed. This flight was gonna get me there. I just had to stick to it.
You came around with your garbage bag just before we could take our seat belts off. You got to me. I had saved ALL my garbage from the flight plus some from my purse to hide the barf bag. To not bring attention to myself or delicate state.
Instead you say, "WHAT'S IN THAT BAG?"..loud enough for Russia to here.

"Umm..I wasn't feeling good." In my small little mouse voice.

"GrOSSS!! You have to throw that in the trash in the bathroom. I'm not touching it!!!"

"Umm...can't you just open the garbage bag and I'll put it in."

"GrOSs! No. Go throw it away."

I, in tears at this point, slid back into my seat, hid my face and waited until you left. I was sooo embarrassed that I didn't even get up to get my carry-on until the other customers left. (A very nice gentlemen got it down for me and placed in in the chair next to me, while I was hiding.)

So in my little hole that I made, I got mad at you for embarrassing me. Call it hormones, call it whatever you like but I got mad. So I thought of all the mean things I could do to you...skin your cat, take your hide-a-key, key your car, all of which I would have to find out where you lived....but then I got a grin on my face.

I got my carry-on bag, left my trash in the seat and left the plane.

There sat this:
Now I know it against all kinds of rules to do that. Health hazards and stuff but it really felt good. So I am now writing this to apologize for me child-like behavior. I shouldn't have left this bag of barf for you to clean up.
Now if you would like to write your apology letter to me, Mr. FA my email address is at the top of the screen on the right.
Again I'm sorry (kinda) about leaving my barf bag for you,
Prego lady in seat 26F, day after Christmas 06.

5 comments:

Kate said...

Well deserved indeed. I most likely would have sat there and cried, but your work was guiness :) lol.

Shelle said...

Love the letter...you definitely do them well! I loved it...and it was not child-like, it was his job, so you were only allowing him to do his job! I should know, I work for an airline!

Oh and you definitely can sleep on my couch with your family anytime! I most definitely have your back! :)

amelia bedelia said...

Oh, that is so funny. Good for you girly. I really love it that it was a man flight attendant!

Mal N' Jon said...

Hahahaha--good for you!

EmilyAnn said...

HAAAAA HA HA HAHA! Did that really happen Krista?!?! You quite possibily might be my hero! That is amazing! I love it! Good work!