Spilling my guts: part 1

So Chris is gone tonight, doing a Suicide run to the Kenai river to fish. (It's called a Suicide run cuz they leave right after work (10pm) and drive 2 hours to the river, fish and then drive back in the early morning. Then get up and go to work at 2pm.) Silly boy!

So you get to hear all my stuff that I have to say! YAY!

So today MUST be "Announce that you are Pregnant to Krista day." Seriously! I had three friends tell me they were el prego! Congrats to all of them! Great job on the baby making!

Then I turn on MY show, The Real Desperate Housewives of New Jersey, and both Jacqueline and Teresa are el prego!!! Congrats to them both!

Seriously though, Jacqueline was my broken buddy. She's was why I really, really got into the show. We were broken moms trying to have another. Trying not to sound ungrateful for what we have. Now she's all knocked up. You go girl! I guess I gotta find another buddy.

Speaking of getting knocked up. I'm still peeing on sticks that aren't changing. (I bought a package with 7 sticks, which I guess is how many most people need to tell when they release an egg, or ovulate.) Not Kritta. I'm on day 7 tomorrow.

I don't know why I'm getting so disappointed. I guess I thought I wouldn't need all the sticks. For some reason, my head thought I would have ovulated by now. That we would be on our way to baby making. I'm not sure why I expected this. I know that I have a longer cycle... usually 35-39 days. If this was a normal cycle without drugs, I wouldn't ovulate for another week, at least.

I am thinking that I thought this was going to be a miracle drug that would just fix things right away. That I would ovulate the first day and already know if I was pregnant. Today seems to be the day that I realize, it might take a few times on this medicine, Clomid, to get prego.

To tell you how much faith I had in this medicine, I already have the due date figured out. (March 14, so you don't have to figure it out.) Sad huh?

PLEASE everybody, tell me when you are pregnant! I am so excited for you! REALLY, REALLY! Two of my friends were scared to tell me. Just because I'm broken, doesn't mean I can't love that fact that you can make babies! That I get to kiss and hug them and steal them at church. (Just ask Bobbi!!)

So don't be afraid.

I won't bite you.

Or kick you.

Probably.

:)

Being Honest...

I'm feeling a bit guilty about this blog. I post on here but what's going on but it's not ALL of what's going on. I love reading about people's REAL lives. We all have our up's and down's. So I'm going to share what's happening.

To start off, this move to New Mexico, I NEVER thought it was going to be so difficult to leave Alaska. I can leave the weather, the fish, the everything...except the people. It is breaking my heart that I can't pack all of them up and take them with me. I feel like they are my family. So I have a song for you, Alaska! Here it is...



Nsync....Tearing up my heart. Yup that just happened!


What else is going on in the W world is a bit more personal. Chris and I have been trying to make Bee a brother or sister for 2 years now. We wanted 6 kids, not too far apart.

Heavenly Father had a different idea.

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, we tried for two years to have Bee. We thought it just wasn't the right timing with the Air Force, with my job, all of it. So when we got pregnant in April of 2007, we jumped for joy! All our ducks were in a row, we knew this was going to be awesome. We went for our first ultrasound to have no heartbeat.

We were crushed. We thought our dreams were coming true.

Three months later, we are pregnant again. This time with a heartbeat. A strong one too! We told people fairly soon because 1. I can't keep secrets about myself, EVER! 2. I was puking my brains out and people had to notice.

Nine months later we had Bee!

So wonderful. We enjoy him so greatly. BUT we both grew up with siblings, we know how important it is to have someone to play with. We wanted another one.

After we were cleared with Bee, we started trying again.

Two years later, we are still trying.

It has been a roller coaster of emotions. EVERY month. Tears, joys...

I went in for my girlie appointment about 2 months ago. They asked if things were okay. I said yes BUT we have being trying for 2 years to have another baby. What are your thoughts?

After testing and all kinds of stuff, I am now on Clomid. It is a medicine that will help my ovaries release egg(s). We are in the middle of the cycle. (Chris says the fun part! HE he he)

There are HUGE amounts of emotions that go into this sort of thing.

This is where I need your help.

Should I be putting this stuff on this blog? Do you wanna read about it?

Or should I put it on another blog and invite people over?

I am really having a hard time with this. What's too personal for your blog?

Is your blog like a journal to you?